Inspiring Peace – Conversations with Wise Women

{The image above was drawn by my eight year old, Annie. It is a picture of me doing yoga, looking very peaceful and chic with my mani and pedi. Thank you Roxanne Gordon at Rogo Graphics Inc for the graphic design on Annie’s artwork. I love it.}

Hi gorgeous ones!

Welcome to the Inspiring Peace Series. Showcasing mothers all over the world who live by the philosophy of creating peace in the world by parenting from the heart, in a way that adds love to the world. Sounds good?

Today we meet the totally inspiring Meagan from This Whole Family.

What was the catalyst that inspired you into mothering the way that you do?

I’m not sure there was ever a catalyst that turned me towards a certain type of mothering. Parenting has really been a learning journey for me. I knew very early on I didn’t want to fall into the habit of yelling or that there was no way I could participate in spanking etc. Personally one of my strongest values since I was very young is to “be kind”. I mean, I think it is my most valued virtue- kindness, compassion. So, I strive more than anything to model kindness and compassion for my children in every aspect of our lives.

If you could tell a new mother just one thing that would make her journey of parenting more joyful, what would it be?

Try to find the humour in the daily grind. Things like my children dumping a 2kg bag of cocoa all over the toy room floor and me discovering them with chocolate rimmed mouths and covered from head to foot in brown powder. I could have flipped out OR I could take a breath and see the humour in it (and the humour in retelling the story in the future.) You can still seriously parent, discipline, set boundaries while also quietly seeing the humour of it all too.

How do you honour your femininity as a mother?

I try to reming myself to “go gently”. I try to get to yoga, I eat whole foods, I blog to record and capture happy, beautiful moments from our days, I have a simple skincare regime, I put essential oils (usually mandarin or lavender) on my wrists before I leave the house in the morning, I listen to Regina Spektor, I try to get at least 8-9 hours sleep a night, I try to re-establish a real connection with my husband at least 3-4 times a week.

What are your non negotiables for your own self care?

I think I am pretty low maintenance: Washing my hair 2-3 times/week, washing my face and applying moisturiser morning and night, brushing and flossing, eating wholesome, nutrient-dense real food, sleeping a lot, getting at least 20 minutes of sun each day. I don’t exercise much at the moment- sometimes I do yoga classes and sometimes I do light weight training at home but while I am breastfeeding I don’t worry much about exercise – I find it already takes a lot of energy out of me. And more than anything- at least 3 home days each week. I really, really don’t like feeling busy, rushed or constantly on a deadline.

What is one practical thing you do on a daily basis to make your daily life run more smoothly?

I unload the dishwasher at night before I go to sleep, I pack lunches before I go to bed, I run a load of laundry as soon as I wake up. Also on Sundays I always plan out my week ahead on paper.

How important is rhythm in your life?

Very important. I plan meals, I goal set for each week, each month and for each year and in order to accomplish these larger goals there are mini tasks that I need to accomplish each day. A rhythm helps me to organise my thoughts and to prioritise. Rhythm also helps to carry my children throughout the day which means less meltdowns, more predictability and more stability.

Finish these sentences:

I am happiest when: my children are happy, healthy and playing cooperatively together and I am in the kitchen undisturbed.
Love is: infinite, unconditional, exponential and simultaneously heavy and light.
My greatest wish for my children is: that they grow to be happy, healthy, fulfilled and compassionate citizens of the planet.

What does being a peaceful mother mean to you?

Not sweating the small stuff. Trying not to take things personally. Trying to see the world from your children’s eyes. Being compassionate, calm and patient as much you can. Spending a tiny bit of time each day on personal development, spirituality and prayer (in any form).

About Meagan:

Meagan Wilson is wife to supportive husband, Brad and mother to a vivacious 5 year old, North, feisty 3 year old, Indigo and bubbly baby Juniper. Meagan began researching playbased and natural early childhood learning over four years ago when she stumbled across some Waldorf inspired blogs that resonated with her deeply. Since then she has passionately shared her parenting journey including her transition to a TV-free home, her parenting style and beliefs and delicious holistic recipes on her blog- thiswholefamily.com. You can browse her series of seasonal Family Rhythm Guides at www.wholefamilyrhythms.com.

Thank you Meagan, I have been reading your blog for many years and I am always moved by your gentle spirit and the love you have for your children. I love the practical tips about the dishwasher, washing machine and planning for the week. All these things are so helpful. I also agree about not pushing the body too hard while breastfeeding and having young children. Preservation of our energy is so important and you do it so well.

Make sure to have a look at seasonal Family Rhythm Guides, they are really fantastic!

Would you like to subscribe to the Peaceful Mothering newsletter? Join the Peaceful Mothering tribe and get Olga’s updates. Click here.

Ayurvedic bedtime drink

Leave a reply

Today I would love to share one of my favouritest (is that a word?) drinks with you. It is the version I have adapted from Dr Johan Douillard’s website. If you would like to learn more about ayurveda from an ayurvedic physician, I recommend exploring his site for some great information.

Milk is really good for helping us go to sleep and this drink is a wonder when it comes to pacifying vata dosha.

In ayurveda, food is considered in terms of it’s qualities, instead of it’s calorie count or vitamin or mineral content. In ayurveda, the quality of milk is cold, sweet and heavy. When we heat it and add warming spices, we make it easier to digest. It is really good for vata and pitta types. Kapha types may like to spice it up with ginger or nutmeg and use soy or almond milk. Milk is really nourishing for the tissues.

You can use organic, unhomoginised cow’s milk, rice, almond, hemp, good quality soy or any other milk you like.

The addition of the ayurvedic herbs makes it more potent. Please check with your health care provider if you are not sure about using the herbs. Ayurvedic herbs are very powerful.

Shatavari is the wonder herb for all women. It translates as “strength of 100 husbands”. It contains unusually high amounts of plant derived oestrogen used to balance the female hormonal system and strengthen virility. It is good for PMS, menopause, help with lactation and to balance the menstrual cycle. Please check with your health care provider about it’s safety during pregnancy.
Ashwagandha has a calming effect on the mind and nerves. It translates as “strength of 10 horses.” It strengthens the bones and muscles and is particularly beneficial for reducing anxiety as well as reversing sexual debility in men.

Here is my recipe:

Bring half a cup of milk and half a cup of water to a boil on the stove.

While the milk is coming to a boil, add:

One chopped date
One tablespoon of almond meal
One tablespoon of coconut meal
One teaspoon of ghee
1/8 teaspoon of cardamom powder
1/8 teaspoon of shatavari powder
1/8 teaspoon of ashwagandha powder

Once milk has come to a boil, remove from heat and blend. You can use a stick blender in the pot or pop into into a big blender.

Strain any sediment through a fine sieve and enjoy with one teaspoon of raw honey.

Drinking this for three months will build up your ojas (strength and immunity) and help you to have a beautiful sleep.

I hope you enjoy and don’t be afraid to experiment and see what works for you. John Douillard adds saffron, but my body doesn’t seem to like it, so I don’t add it. My body is craving cardamom, so I am quite liberal in my addition of it.

Ayurveda is all about connecting with your own body and it’s needs. Use this as a base and feel into what your body needs.

I would love to hear from you once you have tried it. Let me know if it makes a difference to your state of mind and if you feel better after drinking it.

I also make it for my children without the addition of the ayurvedic herbs and they love it too.

Blessings to you.

Would you like to subscribe to the Peaceful Mothering newsletter? Join the Peaceful Mothering tribe and get Olga’s updates. Click here.

Inspiring Peace – Conversations with Wise Women

2 Replies

Hi gorgeous ones!

Today we meet the lovely Christina from Tumbleweeds and Seeds.

What was the catalyst that inspired you into mothering the way that you do?

After my first child was born I went back to work after four months. Shortly after I took a promotion and more responsibility. It was fulfilling to move forward in my career but it cost me dearly in terms of my health, my sanity, and the added stress to my family. I decided then I would seek a more balanced and peaceful life if/when I had a second child. Also through my spiritual practice I have learned that peace is the most important thing to me. I am focused on bringing peace into my home and have that radiate out into the world. I am starting up another business, but I am doing it with boundaries and priorities – peace in my home first, self-care, enjoyment of my young family, then comes my contribution to the world through work. I am thankful that I can make that choice at this point in my life. I know it is not always possible based on your circumstances.

If you could tell a new mother just one thing that would make her journey of parenting more joyful, what would it be?

Be mindful, stay present. Enjoy your time with your new baby. Read a few good parenting books and then throw them away and trust yourself and your intuition about what is best for you and your family. Connect with other new mothers – my relationships with women was essential to getting me through the hard times and celebrating the good, especially in that first year of mothering.

How do you honour your femininity as a mother?

I participate in a Mamas circle. We meet monthly to share and celebrate our journey as women and mothers. I also stay connected with mother earth through gardening and spending time in nature, this helps me to remember my humanity, my body and my capacity for nurturing myself and others.

What are your non negotiables for your own self care?

I have a regular yoga practice. While the number of times I do yoga a week fluctuates with the age of my kids, everyone in the household knows that if I do not do yoga regularly I get rundown and unpleasant to be around. So they work with me to make sure it happens. Sleep in the morning is also essential. I do the night shift with the kids, so I get to sleep in a bit. I am no good before 7am.

What is one practical thing you do on a daily basis to make your daily life run more smoothly?

I write out a list of the 3 most important things that I want to accomplish in a day. These are things that will forward my career, work, or peaceful home. I do those things first. Once they are done, all the other little stuff seems to get done with more ease. We also have clear tasks that each of us in the family take care of. My husband, 6 year old and I all have certain areas of the house or chores we are responsible for. That way we each know what has to get done and who is responsible for it.

How important is rhythm in your life?

Rhythm makes all the difference in my life. As a writer and stay-at-home mom my schedule is much less structured than many other people’s. When I get into a regular rhythm, it makes me feel more grounded and peaceful and life has more ease. While flexibility is necessary for us to thrive, I try to keep the baby on a regular nap schedule, we have a regular dinner time and all eat together at the table, we have family time after that and a set bed time each day. We keep our Sundays open for family day and decide what we want to do together that morning. Having a regular rhythm to our day and our week helps me to know when I will have time to care for myself or get some writing done, it keeps me sane and happy.

Finish these sentences:

I am happiest when: I am on an outdoor adventure, exploring nature with my kids and husband.
Love is: the superior force in the universe and best when it flows freely by working to open our hearts in every moment.
My greatest wish for my children is: for them to find what they love, what they are good at and be able to do that in life. To find contentment and have a happy home.

What does being a peaceful mother mean to you?

What does being a peaceful mother mean to you? It means putting the desire to have peace in your relationships, your life, and the world above everything else. It means constantly asking myself, will this bring more peace to my home and my family? It means reminding myself that what I want more than being right is being peaceful.

About Christina:

Christina Selby is a writer, blogger, educator, wife and mom. She lives with her family on two acres of tumbleweed-ridden land in Santa Fe, NM into which she is constantly trying to breathe life. On her blog, Tumbleweeds and Seeds she shares tips and ideas to help change-makers live simply, sustainably, and take their positive action to a new level in the world. Visit her blog at www.TumbleweedsAndSeeds.com.

I relate to so much of what you have to say, Christina. I particularly love what you say about being peaceful or being right. I always ask my children if they would rather be right or be happy. Yes, they may be right about something, but are they happy in the fuss it takes to prove that they are right? Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us today!

Would you like to subscribe to the Peaceful Mothering newsletter? Join the Peaceful Mothering tribe and get Olga’s updates. Click here.

Easter 2014

Leave a reply

Wishing you and your family a blessed Easter in 2014.

May you find peace in your heart as you value the gift of service. Our inherent nature is to serve – find that peaceful place within where life flows through you.

Take the time to laugh, play and just be.

Blessings to you.

Would you like to subscribe to the Peaceful Mothering newsletter? Join the Peaceful Mothering tribe and get Olga’s updates. Click here.

Mastering self love

Leave a reply

{Photo of me at my most recent yoga training. Photo sent to my family at the time :).}

Hi gorgeous! I hope that you are taking care of yourself. I know it can be challenging sometimes. Modern life demands so much of us, doesn’t it? It can really feel like we are being pulled in a hundred directions.

Often, when we make a decision to slow down and start doing more for ourselves, we end up causing ourselves more anxiety. Living in a way that is more attuned to the cycles of nature and in alignment with our true nature is not an over night achievement. Often, we are up against years and years of unhealthy habits. Years of putting ourselves last that may have built up as resentment, anger, tiredness, pain in the body and even depression.

If you are wanting to heal your life, my advice to you is to take is slow. Make one change at a time.

Ayurveda does not advise making lots of changes at once. Yoga is taught in stages. We don’t just walk into a yoga class and stand on our heads in the first lesson!

We learn about our bodies, start building a relationship with our breath and each time we step on to the mat, we peel away another layer. I like to think of it as an artichoke. There are many layers that need to be peeled away to reveal that delicious heart.

And how many of us do not want to cook artichokes because it is so damn hard to get to that heart?

We are so accustomed to living in an instant society that when we decide to make changes for ourselves, we are surprised when things don’t work out immediately. We get discouraged when we take a perceived step backwards.

Today, I would like to encourage you to reflect on your life up until this time. Sometimes, when we look at how far we have come, we can relax into our journey.

Ask yourself: What do I know now that I did not know 10 years ago? How am I living more in alignment with my true nature than I have ever been? What am I really proud of?

Marvel at the progress you have made in your own self development. Perhaps you eat healthier than you have ever eaten. Perhaps you value your sleep now and you didn’t before. Perhaps you are more patient and kind with your children and your family.

Remember, we are not looking for perfection here. We are looking for perspective. We are always, always growing. Nothing is ever complete. Just embrace where you are in your journey right now.

Now, think of one thing, just one thing that you would like to focus on improving for a while.

Perhaps you would like to start going to a yoga class. Did you know that the cost of a yoga class is less than the cost of a movie? Yoga teachers have so much wisdom to impart. We don’t think twice about going to watch a movie, but we have to budget for our own self care in the form of a yoga class.

Really think about how much you value yourself. Don’t your children deserve to receive the best of you?

Perhaps you can make a commitment to be in bed by 10pm. Did you know that Pitta dosha is active between the hours of 10 and 2? If we are still awake after 10pm, we have entered the element of fire, which is why we have a renewed burst of energy at 10 o’clock. Lots of fun at 10, but not so fun in the morning when our family needs our attention.

I would love to know about your journey. Have you made positive changes in your life that deserve to be celebrated?

Mastering self love is a daily practice. There is no destination. There is only the journey.

What can you do today, that can bring you more peace and joy?

Blessings to you.