Inspiring Peace – Conversations with Wise Women

{The image above was drawn by my eight year old, Annie. It is a picture of me doing yoga, looking very peaceful and chic with my mani and pedi. Thank you Roxanne Gordon at Rogo Graphics Inc for the graphic design on Annie’s artwork. I love it.}

Hi gorgeous ones!

Welcome to the Inspiring Peace Series. Showcasing mothers all over the world who live by the philosophy of creating peace in the world by parenting from the heart, in a way that adds love to the world. Sounds good?

Today we meet the lovely Christina from Tumbleweeds and Seeds.

Christina Selby headshot

  • What was the catalyst that inspired you into mothering the way that you do?

After my first child was born I went back to work after four months. Shortly after I took a promotion and more responsibility. It was fulfilling to move forward in my career but it cost me dearly in terms of my health, my sanity, and the added stress to my family. I decided then I would seek a more balanced and peaceful life if/when I had a second child.  Also through my spiritual practice I have learned that peace is the most important thing to me. I am focused on bringing peace into my home and have that radiate out into the world. I am starting up another business, but I am doing it with boundaries and priorities – peace in my home first, self-care, enjoyment of my young family, then comes my contribution to the world through work. I am thankful that I can make that choice at this point in my life. I know it is not always possible based on your circumstances.

  • If you could tell a new mother just one thing that would make her journey of parenting more joyful, what would it be?

Be mindful, stay present. Enjoy your time with your new baby. Read a few good parenting books and then throw them away and trust yourself and your intuition about what is best for you and your family. Connect with other new mothers – my relationships with women was essential to getting me through the hard times and celebrating the good, especially in that first year of mothering.

  • How do you honour your femininity as a mother?

I participate in a Mamas circle. We meet monthly to share and celebrate our journey as women and mothers. I also stay connected with mother earth through gardening and spending time in nature, this helps me to remember my humanity, my body and my capacity for nurturing myself and others.

  • What are your non negotiables for your own self care?

I have a regular yoga practice. While the number of times I do yoga a week fluctuates with the age of my kids, everyone in the household knows that if I do not do yoga regularly I get rundown and unpleasant to be around. So they work with me to make sure it happens. Sleep in the morning is also essential. I do the night shift with the kids, so I get to sleep in a bit. I am no good before 7am.

  • What is one practical thing you do on a daily basis to make your daily life run more smoothly?

I write out a list of the 3 most important things that I want to accomplish in a day. These are things that will forward my career, work, or peaceful home. I do those things first. Once they are done, all the other little stuff seems to get done with more ease. We also have clear tasks that each of us in the family take care of. My husband, 6 year old and I all have certain areas of the house or chores we are responsible for. That way we each know what has to get done and who is responsible for it.

  • How important is rhythm in your life?

Rhythm makes all the difference in my life. As a writer and stay-at-home mom my schedule is much less structured than many other people’s. When I get into a regular rhythm, it makes me feel more grounded and peaceful and life has more ease. While flexibility is necessary for us to thrive, I try to keep the baby on a regular nap schedule, we have a regular dinner time and all eat together at the table, we have family time after that and a set bed time each day. We keep our Sundays open for family day and decide what we want to do together that morning. Having a regular rhythm to our day and our week helps me to know when I will have time to care for myself or get some writing done, it keeps me sane and happy.

  • Finish these sentences:
  • I am happiest when: I am on an outdoor adventure, exploring nature with my kids and husband.
  • Love is: the superior force in the universe and best when it flows freely by working to open our hearts in every moment.
  • My greatest wish for my children is: for them to find what they love, what they are good at and be able to do that in life. To find contentment and have a happy home.
  • What does being a peaceful mother mean to you?

What does being a peaceful mother mean to you? It means putting the desire to have peace in your relationships, your life, and the world above everything else. It means constantly asking myself, will this bring more peace to my home and my family? It means reminding myself that what I want more than being right  is being peaceful.

About Christina:

Christina Selby is a writer, blogger, educator, wife and mom. She lives with her family on two acres of tumbleweed-ridden land in Santa Fe, NM into which she is constantly trying to breathe life. On her blog, Tumbleweeds and Seeds she shares tips and ideas to help change-makers live simply, sustainably, and take their positive action to a new level in the world. Visit her blog at www.TumbleweedsAndSeeds.com.

I relate to so much of what you have to say, Christina. I particularly love what you say about being peaceful or being right. I always ask my children if they would rather be right or be happy. Yes, they may be right about something, but are they happy in the fuss it takes to prove that they are right? Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us today!

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