On nurturing mothers

I am going to a three hour yoga retreat tomorrow.

It is part of the series of Fill Up Your Tank workshops that I have been doing through my yoga.

My teachers decided to do a mini workshop specifically for mums.

Because when speaking to mums about the full day ones, the mums would tell them that it was too long, but they would love to do a mini version.

Hence the workshop tomorrow.

But, something interesting has happened.

My teacher tells me that the interest from mums has been very low.

They have had a lot of interest from men.

And women without children.

But, not the mums.

What do you make of that?

I think that as mothers we feel so guilty to take care of ourselves.

So guilty, that we will not set aside a few hours to replenish ourselves.

We are very happy to nurture our children and our partners, but we put ourselves at the bottom of the pile.

And we keep giving until there is nothing left.

And then we shout at our children and our partners.

We get depression.

We get illnesses.

We feel unsatisfied with our roles as mothers.

We feel unsupported.

But, we won’t support or appreciate ourselves.

If we won’t do it for ourselves, how can we expect anyone else to do it?

I have a secret to tell you.

 The world will not come to an end if you have a three hour nap in the afternoon.

I know, because I did it today.

You may come out of your slumber and find that the house is a bit messier than when you went to sleep and the washing is still piled up, but the world has not come to an end.

The washing, ironing, cooking, cleaning, will still be there when you are dead.

It is all a cycle.

If we look at nature, the changing of the seasons, the waxing and waning of the moon, the way that animals hibernate, we see that everything has a time of rest.

The trees in winter lose their leaves and the earth looks dead.

But, under ground, everything is replenishing.

The bulbs are fattening up to burst forth with their beautiful flowers in spring.

Would they be able to produce such magnificent flowers if they didn’t die down every season?

We cannot keep going and be surprised when we crash.

We need to nurture ourselves.

For our children, our partners, our colleagues, friends.

But most importantly; and actually the only reason is that we have to do it for ourselves.

We deserve it.

It is the new moon in Leo tomorrow.

This new moon is about the sunshine, the Leo lion heart.

Spend some time to think about what you would like to do this moon cycle that is fun.

Something just for you.

Maybe you would like to watch a funny movie, or join a zumba class, or paint a picture.

It doesn’t matter what it is, it just needs to be true to your courageous lion heart.

And if you still don’t think that you deserve to take care of yourself, have a look at what women all over the world are doing to support each other.

Blessings to you.

 

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3 thoughts on “On nurturing mothers

  1. Obaitori Spiritual Mothering

    Beautiful Ola, such a wonderful post. I agree that many mothers are so reluctant to leave their nests and as you say it is so vitally important that they do go and refuel. Every year I take at least 5 days out at the ashram. I have to go. One of my mother's friends does 10 days at Vipassana every year – she said that if she doesn't go she can't cope for the year. Honouring yourself shows others the way to honour you and themselves. Love Katie x

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  2. Ola

    Katie, that is wonderful that you do that for yourself, thank you for sharing! It is so true about honouring ourselves to be an example to others.

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